I was cleaning out an old email address and found this forward that had managed to escape delete until now. Just thought I'd share it with you, for a laugh.

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the performance of the flower and jewelry applications that had operated flawlessly under the Boyfriend 5.0 system. In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.9, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 7.4, NBA 3.2 and NHL 4.1. Conversation 8.0 also no longer runs and Housecleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

***************************

Dear Desperate,

First, keep in mind that Boyfriend 5.0 was an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try to enter the command C:/I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and install Tears 6.2. Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications: Guilt 3.3 and Flowers 7.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to such background applications as Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1. Please remember that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring_Loudly.WAV files.

DO NOT install Mother-in-law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. It could also potentially cause Husband 1.0 to default to the program: Girlfriend 9.2, which runs in the background and has been known to introduce potentially serious viruses into the Operating System.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and can't learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to enhance his system performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Single Malt Scotch 4.5 combined with such applications as Boob Job 3.6D and that old standby... Lingerie 6.9 (which have both been credited with improved performance of his hardware).

Good Luck,
Tech Support

My brother and I bought this hammock (shown here) from Superstore (Loblaw's for you more Westerly folk) for my Dad's birthday gift. But it didn't come looking like this. It came in a small box. With lots of parts.

And since my brother is in the O. (Ottawa) it was up to me to put it together. Thanks G!

I decided to write this post to give props to a product which came with relatively helpful instructions. You don't always find that. There was only one final touch that I needed a hand with and that was pulling the awning taut to secure it. I got it all complete in about half an hour. Not bad I figure. Only a couple extra pieces, and I think some pieces came extra, yeah, that's it.

It came with one of those litle IKEA keys, which (a) are supposed to be "screw drivers" and (b) are not the key to anything! Luckily, this whole contraption required only 4 screws and I didn't realy have to fight to put them in at all.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Starting a new thread from a response to another post - riské you say? HA! I'm here for the people!

My absolute favorite green soccer jersey? Of all time? Ok Al we'll have to take it old skool for this one. I'd have to say the Norwich (England) 1930s jersey (shown here). I've always been partial to it for some reason.Very simple. Classic. I'm more about the jerseys sans logos myself.

Other, more modern, greens would have to include the 1998 Nigeria kit (even though its made by yucky Nike), 2002 Mexico World Cup jersey, and I'd like to give respect to the green and yellow World Cup Australia kit seeing as how I just came back from there and they did kick England's sorry butt last time 'round!

Even if you're not a football (soccer) fan, you may want to have a bit of a read of Scott Murray's minute-by-minute commentary of the England Australia match through that last link, at least the first paragraph, knowing the outcome (Australia 3 - England 1) makes it one of the finest pieces of literature I've ever read! For true Aussies you can click on "minute-by-minute match report with Aussie bias". The contrast is brilliant!

Dan and I went to Cora's for breakfast after soccer this morning. Our usual routine is to go to Subway with whatever silveroranges are in attendance, but today we were on our own and decided to try something new.

I had read about Cora's (pre-opening) on Reinvented and some discussion which followed their opening, especially a post by Rob Paterson and his positive experience there, gave me courage to give it a try.

It wasn't what I expected when we first walked in. I thought maybe a few tables (more cafe style) but it was much larger, with lots of booths and that muffled restaurant sound of chatter and clicking cutlery.

We both had the very filling 'Theo's breakfast', well, I had a variation on the theme (leaving more items off the omelette than on, since I am so picky) and was pleased that the server was patient and didn't seem to mind. We had the delicious fruit smoothie-type drink while we waited for our food; it was a combination of pineapple, peach, orange and __?__  (do you remember Dan?).

All in all a pleasant morning - good soccer and a good breakfast.

I thought maybe we should start out with something fun.

A friend sent me the link to this 20 Questions game about a month ago. ADDICTION WARNING!  And I've found that the game itself has changed and gotten smarter since the first time I played it. It almost always knows what I'm thinking. And when it was wrong it was really close - like the difference between sculpture and statue.

Let me know if you stump the game and what you chose. My record is 28 questions for it to guess 'lamp shade'. Its first guess was 'cookie jar'. Tsk Tsk.

What I enjoy reading most are the humorous "Uncommon Knowledge about a lamp shade" (lamp shade in my case) found at the bottom of the page after it guesses the correct answer. But I don't think they are meant to be humorous. Example: Can it help you find your way? I say Yes; Can you wear it on your head? I say Yes; Is it a type of mineral? I say Probably; Is it living? I say Probably.

You say is it fun? I say fo' sho'.

HOORAY! Welcome to me.

I’m not too hip yet to the inter-dot-net etiquette but I do know that I have some people to thank.

THANK YOU silverorange!!!

This may have taken a while to realize but I’ve been thinking about it for some time. I mean, if Al can do it.....

Inspiration for this site comes from years of reading AOV, spying on Lorrie, and watching ffoeg shape and reshape Phase-Four.

But enough about everyone else... here’s to more about me.